This is hard...

I cannot stand not running. I feel overwhelmed, tired. Cross. Short. Fat. Chubby. Lame. Not like me.

I wish this I T band would heal. I don't think I will be running the full marathon on the 3rd of May. I am experiencing pain when running. It is horrible.

On Sunday, I ran for 3 km, and I had to walk back. I watched everybody in front of me running fluidly, and not having any pain. It was truthfully very upsetting. I came back to the store and bawled my eyes out for quite some time. That goes to show you how very difficult this time has been.

I have resorted to eating to keep me feeling OK. I feel anxious, and worked up. Angry. I am yelling more. Not good.

I need to eat right and exercise. What do I do?

Not my time I guess.

Well, funny my blog title is See Cathy Run, when today I couldn't even run 3 km without pain. I think I will not be running the marathon this go. I am going to stick to walking until I feel I can run again.

As for weight, I am back at 150 and feeling very frustrated. In fact, after my run today I walked into the RR and just bawled my eyes out. I have worked so hard, I am so close to my goal. SO frustrating, sad. Makes me mad.

So, I won't even record my time etc. for today. I will just try to enjoy the beautiful day. And think about my running friends that are out running right now. 

As for the 'Biggest Loser' the date has been extended to the 22nd of May. I need to win this to atleast feel I have done something good! 

Anyways, time for a shower.